Before I get started, I just wanted to address the elephant in the room. The massive banners that each team runs through each week. This tradition from a bygone era has as much relevance in 2017 as the Baha men. Sure it has its benefits, it gives people who have zero chance of playing at the highest level a platform to get close to the game, without having to become an umpire. The Bulldogs do it well, but for ever Danny McGinlay zinger there are seventeen other banners.
We all know why this charade continues, big multinational Crepe Paper Companies. They have been pumping millions of dollars into AFL coffers for the best part of a century. Until Gillian McLachlan gets off the crepe paper gravy train, we will be showcasing our greatest game by allowing players to enter the arena by clumsily attempting to run through a fragile wall of wanna be paper mâché.
Bob Murphy played his 300th game over the weekend, to commemorate the occasion Robbo wove his literary magic once again, this time by linking Bob, Terry "Plough" Wallace and Alistair Clarkson. It was like when the drunkest bloke at a 21st interrupts the speeches to tell a long winded story that vaguely mentions the birthday boy or girl and has no punchline and trails off to tumbleweed and crickets (much like this blog).
Heath Shaw apologized for sledging young Swan Tom Papley, "Heater" said he was a passionate competitor who played on the edge. Ground microphones picked up some fruity language from Shaw, I feel for Shaw. Towards the end of my career I viciously sledged younger players, in the end it ended my Auskick coaching career.
Jayden Hunt has been told by the AFL that if he wants to wear a head band it needs to be one colour, this raises a few questions.
Why AFL players seem to take the piss by growing weird haircuts, creepy moustaches and feeling the need to wear scrunchies? These highly paid athletes seem to want to make it harder for the opposite sex to be attracted to them. Marcus Bontempelli looks like 1980's sitcom star Blossom.
Why does the AFL feel the need to police what colour headbands players wear? Going on current trends, it won't be long before a player sports a face tattoo that features a caricature of Estelle Getty riding naked on a Griffen whilst Emanuel Lewis plays a banjo nearby.
It's that time of the year when Garry Ablett senior and Wayne Carey's names are brought up before the annual AFL Hall Of Fame induction night. I know how these greats feel, years after my retirement with over 300 reserve grade games I have been snubbed by the Upper North Central Regional Southern Metropolitan Midlands District League Association or (UNCRSMMDLA) for short. My only "crimes"?
Playing under aliases whilst suspended, some of these included; Elbows McConcussion and Naila Netballa.
Winning the Chooks footy club major raffle three years in a row. My threepeat was not popular with the rank and file, even though I hired out the industrial hot dog warmer at a very reasonable rate to the club. You would think more gratitude would be shown to the bloke who organised and sold all the tickets.