Summer is a terrible time of the year, there are only three types of people who disagree.
1. Twenty year olds who are at the peak of the physical powers; they love shedding clothes making those of us with the body of Gumby envious.
2. People who "feel the cold", these reptile like mutants turn a heater on when it gets below 30. Unless you are over the age of seventy and have skin like a wet tissue, put a damn beanie on and shut your word hole.
3. People who don't like contact sport, these peculiar folk either are apart of the "tennis fanatics" or find them entertaining.
Cricket I hear you say? The national summer sport for me has been ruined by Channel Nine, more specifically Shane Warne. If I want to hear a has been rambling on about his love of pizza, obviously hinting about women he's shagged, finding reasons to show highlights of his career and bagging out former captains, I will start recording myself.
North Melbourne's Scott Thompson
"He (Thompson's dog) drank some old water and threw it up on the floor. I was in thongs and didn’t see it, stepped over a Christmas present and just kept on going.
"I actually slipped over in my dog’s vomit, so it was a good little test.” - I agree, let's get all the kids in the next draft camp to see if they can keep their feet when dodging animal spew.
Melbourne’s Christian Salem
"It was a bit unfortunate. I ended up knocking myself out on a hike. I got hit in the head with a brick, so it wasn’t ideal,"
"I remember it all. It was just unfortunate. It hit me in the wrong spot. These things happen." - Well they don't usually, and "the wrong spot" is your entire head.
Five day five night Dermott Brereton decided to share a video of him squeezing a cyst near a scar from shoulder surgery.
Derm's puss leaking shoulder was more offensive than his ever changing hair styles. Brereton expelled more bodily fluid than since his week long bender after the 89 GF.
Former Docker Chris Mayne on his move to Collingwood, “ ... I saw the list of Collingwood and I thought this could be something that’s really powerful."
I'm starting to think that Chris's locks aren't natural and may have fallen asleep under the hair curler.
Just when you thought we could put the supplements saga behind us, our favourite pasty hunch back Brendon Goddard brought it up again. So what if BJ wasn't there whilst the supplement program was in place.
Who cares if Beej has as much idea of international sports law as he of winning his own ball? This man will support his teammates till the death....unless there playing a game, in that case he will point, admonish and scold.
Finally, Jason Johanison's hair, if you win a Norm Smith medal you can have whatever hair style you like, even if you look like half of a Kris Kross tribute band. It's not my cup of tea but I'm sure Jason thinks it's wiggity, wiggity, wiggity wack.